"Sure, I'll figure out the sequencing." — now four things are in flight. Two weeks later each has moved 20%, the key call on the capacity rebuild gets improvised at the last minute, and the promo packets read like paperwork. You paid four attention taxes and collected zero credit.
"Let me state the constraint first: three things currently need my own judgment — the capacity rebuild, two promo packets, the schema negotiation. That's judgment load, not execution load; adding people doesn't think for me."
"I'll take cost governance, but something has to leave for it to come in. Three options: (1) I downgrade the schema negotiation to 'I set the principles, Alex negotiates the details' — risk is we concede one step more than we should; (2) the capacity rebuild slips a month — risk is thinner headroom before the Q4 peak; (3) on cost governance I only do the first two weeks — problem definition and the measurement standard — and Priya writes the plan with me as reviewer. I recommend (3). Which do you want?"
Do: put one line at the top of your 1:1 doc — "This week's three slots: ___ / ___ / ___." Next time work arrives, show that line first, then offer three priced options.
Ask: if two of your three slots are firefighting, is that a team capability problem — or you refusing to let go?
You switch over, read logs, send three replies, and are back in the doc twelve minutes later. But for the next half hour you're still thinking about that certificate — the trade-off section gets more tangled and you assume the problem is hard. It's residue. You rewrite the section that night.
"I'm in a deep block until 14:30. You don't need me for this class of problem: Alex is on point this week (pinned in the channel) and has full staging access; if it is the cert, the runbook is in the wiki under 'cert-rotation'. If you judge you need a decision from me before 14:30, post a blocker in #team-oncall and it's the first thing I read when I come out."
(1) On-point rotation: one person a week absorbs every "quick question for BigCat"; everyone else is protected, including you on the days you're not on point.
(2) One escalation channel: real blockers go to exactly one channel; @-mentions anywhere else are async by default. Only with this rule can you actually stop watching Slack.
(3) A two-minute forced close-out: before switching, write one line — "where I got to, what's next." Leroy's experiments show that giving the unfinished task an explicit plan sharply reduces residue. That line is the plan.
Do: keep an interruption ledger for one week — three fields each time: who, could only I answer it, what was I doing. On Friday, count the share of "not only me."
Ask: if that share is over half, is the thing to fix your boundaries — or your team's docs and delegation?
"Take the managed one, it's faster." — three months later it has locked you to a vendor and moved data outside the compliance boundary; migrating back is two quarters. You pushed open a one-way door in twenty seconds, in your worst window.
"First question: if this decision is wrong, how long to reverse it?" — "We'd have to migrate data, maybe a quarter." "Then it's a one-way door, and it doesn't belong to my brain after four meetings in a hallway."
"Monday 10:00, you get 45 minutes. Before Sunday, write one page: exit cost of each option, which compliance boundary the data lands in, and what code we'd touch if we switched in three months. Monday we discuss only those three."
"And here's a standing unlock for every reversible choice in this group: if the exit cost is under two engineer-weeks, you decide — one line of conclusion in the weekly."
Do: post a three-line "don't ask me" rule in the team channel — exit cost under ___, you decide and tell me after; unsure whether it's reversible, first ask "how long to reverse"; one-way doors, book my peak window and bring one page.
Ask: if you keep not writing that threshold, is it fear they'll judge wrong — or fear of no longer being needed?
You announce nothing and just quietly stop attending the internal-tooling weekly. Three weeks later that owner tells a skip-level "feels like our line doesn't matter anymore," and two months later starts looking outside. You never intended to abandon the line — you just never said so.
"Let me start with something nobody usually says out loud: how I'm allocating my attention this quarter. I'm going deep on two — capacity rebuild and cost governance. They're the only two one-way doors this quarter."
"For internal tooling and the docs platform, I'm switching to metrics-only, no diving into details. To be explicit: that's a decision about my bandwidth, not a downgrade of those lines — headcount and perf weighting are unchanged."
"To those two owners I commit three things: a monthly 45-minute deep session on your agenda; pull me in any time you judge you need me, and that outranks my own deep block; at quarter end I present your material for you in calibration — I won't let your results get discounted because 'I wasn't involved so I don't know.'"
"Any week you feel sidelined, say so directly and I'll adjust immediately."
Do: send the team a five-line email — the two things you go deep on, the two lines you'll track by metrics, the three compensating commitments for the latter, and "tell me directly if you feel sidelined."
Ask: the discomfort you feel writing "what I won't go deep on" — is it fear of disappointing people, or of admitting you can't cover everything?